Whats it all about then, Mr Prouty-Conkle-Conkle?

All done up in ribbons so’s that you new crew can get your tongue round it like ...ooo er and ye grizzled veterans can sees where ye bin goin wrong all of these long years...

• BLUECOAT A priest or reverend - but never Pope !
• BLOODY FLUX Dysentery - just like wot Poncys got - allegedly.
• BOX ONE'S JESUIT A sea term for masturbation - now there’s posh - one off the wrist is what he’s meaning!
• BUBE Any venereal disease - like the Clap rest her soul...
• CABOCEER Applied to any African with whom trade for slaves may be effected.
• CALLET A whore. HURRAH !!!!
• CALOMEL A mercurous chloride often used as acathartic...popular with Alchemists then...phoar ...
• CAREEN The process of bringing a ship ...hang ye! If ye doesnt know this one then ye be nothing but a lop-eared, goat-stroking pavement sailor and I'll have no more to do with ee... so fuck off go-on ! Out of it ! Makes me sick...
• CAULK To seal the seams of a ship by driving in oakum and then covering it with melted cheese... erm pitch. sorry.
• CHANNELS A broad thick plank that extends from the ships sides, extending the base for the shrouds and therefore increasing the support for the mast.
• CHANTY or SHANTY see careen... no no from the bit that starts "hang ye"!
• CHIT A baby or small child.
• CRIMP A man who procures sailors... probably for a shiny sixpence down at the Old Buggers Arms... Or as a verb, the act of being pressed. Nothing to do with hair then ?
• CURSITOR A struggling solicitor.
• DADDLES The hands. Not as in "all daddles on deck". Your real hands.
• DUCKS Strong linen used to make trousers and sails and hats.
• FIZZGIG A small harpoon. A bit like a narwhal but smaller...
• GLEET Gonorrhea. Or the discharge from your knob when youve got it. So thats nice.
• GUINEAMAN Ship bound to or from Guinea Coast. Synonymous with slaver.
• GUT FOUNDERED Exceedingly hungry.
• HAVY CAVY Wavering or doubtful.
• HEDGE WHORE An itinerant whore, a skint brass - the best sort...
• HOLY STONES A bible sized lump of sandstone used to scour the deck of a ship.
• HUFF A bully.
• KEDGE A small anchor used in mooring.
• KEN CRAKER A housebreaker. I wont stand for thievery... Arhh now theres comfy.
• LANYARD A short piece of rope used to secure anything that might be in need of securing...like your dignity, crewmates...
• LARBOARD As opposed to starboard. Later changed to port to avoid confusion and raise the possiblity of a drink or two.
• LEEWARD Downwind.
• LINSTOCK A staff with one end forked, used to fire a cannon and to poke Hobbits. Probably.
• LUBBER HOLE The hole in the ship's top by the mast. The easiest way to climb or descend and generally spurned by real pirates. Be warned lubbers...
• MARLINESPIKE An iron spike used in the process of splicing rope.
• MOIDORE A piece of gold, valued at twenty-seven shillings. A nice easy number....
• NOCKY BOY A simple fellow.
• NODDY A simpleton or fool.
• OAKUM Strands and sections of old rope that will be tarred for use in caulking and telling gags with props...
• PETTIAUGER Originally two canoes attached side by side. Came to mean any flat bottomed boat, open in the middle, propelled by either oars or sail.
• PINNANCE A ship's boat.
• PRESS A group of likely lads led by an officer who impress men or Service - as in "can you swim ?" " Right youre in the navy now lad" (Trad).
• QUADRANT An instrument used to find the latitude of aplace or shipor where ye left the loot.
• SENNIGHT A pointless shortening of the phrase "seven nights". "Week" anyone ?
• SHARPER A thief. Hmmmm
• SHROUDS Part of a ship's standing rigging.
• SLOOP A small one masted vessel.
• SPORTING BLUBBER Describing large coarse women who expose thier breasts ! I find it very encouraging that pirates made up a term for this... Hurrah ! (reprise).
• STRAW BOOTERS In the vicinity of law-courts, a man would place a straw in his boot to signal that he was available for perjury. Arhhh does me heart proud to know it...
• TOREDO WORM A salt water worm, extremely destructive in a ships hull.
• UNDER BARE POLES With no sail set.
• VARDY A verdict or opinion.
• WARP To move a ship by dropping the kedge anchor and pulling on the hawser.
• WEATHER DECK The upper deck exposed to the elements.
• YARD A long wooden spar.
• YARDARM Either end of a yard.

Well there ye have it my lovelies look lively now I'm off to find me some sporting blubber arrhh.