The Freaks Of Eris
Life in a madman's head

Foreword

On the 19th of August way back when is where this tale begins and as the way of it, it begins at the end. Odd you might ask but the reason is of importance, honour and memory of a stoic fellow who holds the reigns of this tale as I hold the pen. I being Mr Bosun Bosh Mc Jinkingabout of the Discordia. Now a free man as is the stoic man in question.

Captain J.J. Quin died on this day, plainly and without question. He died an Honourable man to his trade and he went with a sword in his hand and, as he would have liked it, with his boots on. I will not go into great detail of the way he died as it still pains me to talk of it. But let us say it was his time and the will of the goddess. His death was a great loss to his crew none more so than my own loss. It was also a time of confusion as to the future of the Discordian crew. For a time I myself took the position of captain. But this only brought trouble in my heart and sat ill with my personality. I have always been a 1st officer, as far as this story goes back anyway, and my will to carry on my captain's request died with him. He was the history of the Freaks and it was a time for a change. And in the spirit of chaos it was time for a big change.

As things lie now Ship's Mum (Surreef) has taken the helm and is guiding the way to a new horizon. She is worthy in her heart to all who serve under her as she has always been. As the waters become still from the change of command all have now the time to reflect on past times. And again no more than myself. This tale is reflections and memories of an era that by its sheer telling needs to be heard.

Chapter1
When Did We Three Meet Again ?

It was cold, a burning cold you only get with fever. The NOW time was not even slow it was still and the feeling of slime was the hardest thing to grip on to. It could have been that I had had this feeling for just a few days but in reality, as thin as it was, was that it had been years. The nourishment of worms and six legged creatures had sustained my miserable existence for this period. All but breath was lost.

There were times of great ecstasy, through which times a face would appear. A beautiful woman with nothing on but pride and scorn for me. She would laugh down at me and the joy I took from this humiliation was pitiful. She would offer me many things in my dreams and hallucinations and I grovelled for them. But always the same, She would laugh and disappear. Until the last time when she came as beautiful as ever, with more power and radiance than if all the stars where sown into one glorious gown. I lay in a pool of my own doing mixed with the grime of the earth and she offered her final and most precious gift. Her hand. Of all the gifts to bring, this was my final desire. It was the key to my salvation and the strength to my weakness. All my undoing could be solved by the touch of two hands. But in that brief moment before my resignation to Eris, I glowed and the glowing was mine. It felt as though I had never felt this before and it was from me. With this to my credit I refused the hand of Eris and willed it away. She did not laugh.... nor did she rain chaos to my already dishevelled existence. She closed her eyes gently and smiled. Such a small smile as only I saw and she knew. Then nothing. I lay my head in the earth and as far as I knew I had breathed my last.

times of great ecstasy

You refuse my hand you worm! I am glad; I wouldn't have touched that grubby mortal flesh anyway. You have been fair game and have amused me greatly with no injustice to your spirit for that has always been there. Your life has been one big give and take away. You have accepted this and the sport for me has been hard. Having lay with nothing for so long and then learnt to refuse this is your new beginning. What have you now apart from the unobtainable vision of me?......ONLY YOU

"GUSSET! GUSSET SKULLFUCKER come back with that spoon. How's a man supposed to stir his tea after he's burnt his knob in it already" were the first human or mortal words I had heard for years. My assumption was this was untrue and this was the voice of a demon introducing me to my place in eternity and my first sight in this new world only confirmed it. A wiry imp character as grubby as my self was sniffing my armpit and gibbering some off world language I did not understand. His face as far as I could make out was one of a starved pig with the biggest grin a face could hold beaming from it. This did not last long and was replaced with a strained, bulged eyes expression as it was wrenched backward by the scruff of the neck. It was replaced with a round, bristly but more human face with a keen eye and it was being put to good use on my own face. " What the fuck have you found Gusset" he growled although there was no malice in it. " A corpse. you've found a corpse. Go on you can have it But don't be bringing any bits with you." With this the man; who I could now see was of some size; moved away. Almost immediately, and as an answer to his wrong judgement I spluttered bringing forth mud and half eaten creatures from my lungs and throat.

"Arse, it's still alive," said the Gusset character. I was then dragged across mud, brambles, shale, nettles, rocks and grass to a clearing where a fire was built. As the flames caught, I lapsed into unconsciousness again. I shivered with the fresh feeling of the cold. Bitter mortal cold that only arises from being alive, truly alive. A blanket had been placed around me and the smell of a thousand bodies lingered in its fibres. As I looked across the clearing I could see the silhouettes of my two handlers between the glowing campfire and me. As I watched for a while it came to me that they meant me no harm. In fact disregarding me as if I was a tree.

the smell of a thousand bodies

With this cover I listened for some time to there muttering and guffawing. They seemed long time friends but in a way that I suppose all travellers are. Time is not the issue when meeting people out here, intention and character is. I presumed them travellers for they had little in the way of possessions but what they did have was precious to them. The thin thing seemed to wear most of what he had with a certain raggedy pride, Clinking and crunching as he moved around. He, or she I knew as Gusset. The other man sat, almost as though he was standing with a stiff, comfortable poise. A gentleman in a rogue's guise. He smoked a pipe as though it was the nipple of a fair virgin and his satisfaction of this showed. They spoke long and familiar of deeds don and to be done. They occasionally nodded back towards me at which I coward inwardly. It was not that I was afraid of their presence but the simple logistics of the situation. They were two, I was one, they were armed, and I was not. Without provocation I found myself speaking for the first time in years. " Food". They both turned and sat staring for a moment just too long to warrant silence. I spoke again, "Food?". "No its alright, we've eaten thanks" and they both laughed for a short moment. " No sorry lad, we were just having you for a fool". " I thought we were gonna have him for breakfast" Gusset replied and they chuckled again. I managed a smile and a cough which led them to invite me to join them at the fire. I rose rather too quickly and my limbs, which were still not used to the act of standing began to wobble and jig like a badly manipulated mannequin. I reeled towards the fire without grace, knocking everything that was around the fire; including the fire itself; to the four winds. I accompanied my dance with a short, involuntary, tuneless, rhythmless rhyme which went a little like this,

He smoked a pipe as though it was the nipple of a fair virgin

Whey, scuse, Bosh.

Mind that, Bosh, whatcha

Bosh sorry about th, sorry

Bosh, BOSH, AARGH!

They both shuffled violently away as I came to rest on the other side of the now flat, spread embers. A moment passed in which all three parties rearranged their composure such as it was. The larger man spoke "Well mister Bosh you certainly know how to inflict your presence. It's a good job there wasn't a door involved in that entrance or you'd have knock your self clean out" " my name's not Bosh" I said. " No. well what devil is it then?" After along pause, too long not to be embarrassing I conceded " I don't know.. I think I've lost it". A seconds silence and then a burst of untamed laughter rushed over me from across the flames. This did not stop for some time. Amidst tears and heavy sighs the big man finally replied. " Well mister Bosh it is then, at least until we find your other one" after another round of tittering he introduced himself as J.J. Quin. " Don't ask what the J. J. stands for or you'll get a smack in the mouth and this scoundrel half orc is Gusset Skullfucker. And you my lost friend are a very lucky man"