Unkle Pilfer's guide to Shagging

mayk shure yoov got enuff to have a proper shag,not some skinny thing that wownt larst long,coz reely thick wuns last longer butt you must bee cairful not to skweeze it too tight coz yu wont get ennything owt wen yoo suk ....

maik sur as well that yu dont maik it too wet when you lik it coz it will stay that wai and will need constunt atenshun from yor hot thing to maik it werthwile,annd it will just bee too much ov a pain to reely endyoi annd you mite just gett fed up with the hole thing andd do sumfing stoopid lyke leeving it in sumwunns drink of rum which might addd flaver but its too wet still.

oh yeh,wen your are getting it redy dont be sumwear wear lots ov peeple ar running arownd cos you mite forl over and it will cum out all bent and its harder to get gowing proper and sum might fal out as well so you have to starrt all over agen....its alsow yooshyully mor fun to add sum speshul stuff and hav lots ov peeple do it at the saim tyme and somewun ushuly starts to giggl butt you can looze consentratsion if this hapens for along tyme and yu forget wot way yoo wer doing it but bi then it don't matter coz everiwuns on the flor bi then anyway...